Birthright

I was born a white boy of modest means, narcissistic and wanting to be pious.  Wanting to do good for some unconscious, or at least unexamined, motivation to make people respect the person I would be.

We all have different faculties, various levels of intelligence in different parts of our mental landscape, and my epigenically determined topography turned me into my particular brand of automaton.  And so it was until whenever it was when I started to get a hint of that the key to unlocking the mind, like unlocking the phone, involves hacking into the programming.  Until a person challenges the algorithms (fundamental belief systems) on which they operate, they remain zombies, of a sort.  The Matrix, as it were, is more real than people believe.  Unplugging requires both an act of courage and defiance.  But it's a very special brand of defiance, not against any legally recognized entity, but against the habits of a lifetime since mom and dad and authority and the social machine have imprinted on your one's life.  The courage comes in facing the unknown -- what has been a companion for years, a go-to set of values and rules, regardless of whether they've lead to any sort of tangible success or not (depending on the most basic idea of what success might be), and abandoning it for what?

When I was unlocked, I had had a few years, a few key life experiences under my belt, and a whole lot of learning to draw from -- exposure to such a wide variety of ideas from science, science fiction, literature, philosophy, human nature. . . making it a more seamless process than it is for most, perhaps.  It was catalyzed by some emotional trauma in the form of a near simultaneous divorce and consequent move, major career change, and etcetera, leaving me without the stability I'd had before and so the freedom(?) to embrace a fundamentally different ideology.  Not everybody gets that chance, and I suppose I wouldn't wish it on anybody, because that level of upheaval in one swell swoop is not necessarily what I'd call a pleasant experience.  But the sooner I stopped judging the new array of experiences, the sooner the pain ceased.  And the sooner the ineluctable and unique peace that comes only from substituting will to awareness.  Because will is an effective blinder to what they world is offering you.  And what the world offers is simply this: The opportunity to approach your circumstances with honesty and fearlessness.  Not recklessness, not brazenness or bravado, but the faith that there is no absolute imperative to meet any arbitrary expectation, yours or others'.  Your expectations have served their purpose (getting you here) and may now be retired, and theirs, you no longer need to heed because their expectations are for them to deal with, not you.  You've got a life to lead, and their boxes are no longer constraints (blinders, fetters, hand-cuffs, bars, thumb-screws) that need to be heeded).

All that stuff put me here, today, in 2015 San Diego, and to do what with in this tiny plot of world I inhabit.  So, what am I going to do?

Forgive the White Racist Shooters?

I saw a post today that asked if the black community should stop forgiving white racists (as victims' families did publicly in the wake of South Carolina).

We might first remember that forgiveness is not a selfless act that absolves someone of any wrongdoing.  It's a selfish act that allows the forgiver to love again.  Holding resentment, consternation, contempt, disapproval (judgment), or hatred in one's heart lessens, weakens, sickens the person with those feelings.  Forgiving, real forgiveness (not saying it or wanting to forgive, or saying "It's OK" or any other equivocation) allows a person to proceed with a clear, unfettered, or conflated agenda of rational action.  Forgiveness lets someone love again...not just the ability to love the person being forgiven, but to love at all.  Someone clouded with hatred, even a little, can no longer love unconditionally.  Try to love someone deeply while thinking about that which you hate.  Sort of tough, huh?  I can imagine the mental gymnastics someone would be able to perform and do it -- schizophrenia level.  Forgiveness, like contempt or hate, does nothing for they who wrong you.  It only works its magic (or poison) in you.

Anyone who's ever felt the palpable lifting of a burden when they've actually forgiven a major transgression against them knows what I'm talking about.  If you haven't, this might not resonate.  That's OK.  I wouldn't wish that sort of thing on anyone.

So my answer is, if a person can find a path to honest and complete forgiveness, take it.  It's not like you can forget the hurt or pain that was caused.  But if you're lucky, you can avoid multiplying it by finding a way to forgive.

War Death Perspective

If the same percentage of the population of the United States that were killed in the Civil War were compared with today's population, the death toll would be 5,500,000.

The number lost in 911 was around 3000, or 1/20th of 1 percent of the Civil War casualty rate.  If we add Iraq and Afghanistan, that's another 6700 (or another 1/10th of 1 percent of the Civil War rate).

So for all three, close to 1/5 of 1% of the Civil War.  One fifth of one percent.

And for all that, for those who lost a loved one, it's as bad as it could possibly be for those.  How many of us even KNOW a single person who was killed in one of the last wars.  Being a former military officer, I do know some of the dead casually, but no close friends during the last couple wars.

If each of those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan was close to 50 unique people, then that brings the total close friends or relatives that have experienced war loss to 10%.  We're more connected that in the civil war, but if each of the dead were close to 20 people in the Civil War, 40% lost someone close to them. 1 in 10 versus 4/10 makes a big difference in the national sentiment.

Uploading Your Consciousness into a Computer: Alt-you

OK, so if it could be done, the problem would be that there would be 2 "yous."  The original -- you sitting there with all your memories and thoughts hooked up to some kind of brain-copy machine.  And then there would be Alt-you, on the computer.  Assuming you could copy but not just cut & paste.

So, as you sit there, the Alt-you could, for all intents and purposes, act and think as you do/would, and if it were then in a robot or somehow then reprogrammed into the Alt-you human brain, two people, you and him.

So, the one made immortal at that point would be the other one, and you'd be sitting here in with your individual unique consciousness, still watching this other person/entity, who may be very much like you, but is not you, because you're still there, in your head.  And you'd be seriously jealous, because as you continue to deteriorate and die, he/she'd be out there living their new and continued life!  They could even do your job and be the parent of your children and the excellent spouse you are to your life partner!  And you'd again, be watching as the outside person.  You'd have the peace of mind, I guess, that Alt-you would be the same as you to everyone else in the world, and could continue being you to everybody.  But again, it's the other you, and there's no way to get this current you outside your head and into any other consciousness, is there?  As intimately as you are connected to your own neurons, those are the ones that make  you feel like you with your own memories and consciousness.  And you'd still die, just like you would have had you not uploaded yourself into Alt-you.

And the new you that you had thought you would become would be Alt-you's (Alt-yours?).  To the world, you could almost be considered to become immortalized, but to you, yourself, sayonara!

But, brain transplant -- taking your brain and putting it into some healthy new body or fully hooked-up, robotic brain-vessel.  I suppose that's the better route, right?  Because then, it's still be the original you in there.  That'd be good.  Until you were finally ready to let go and surrender.