There's a certain genetic component in personality that contributes to a thick or thin skin, but how does a person become fragile or resilient (gritty), and what is a good strategy for parents and schools to foster empathy and the ability to understand another's situation while strengthening their own ability to transcend hardships?
I bet one is to call out or even create activities that naturally result in teachable moments to stop and reflect on different ways to approach the current struggle.
There is a component of being able to step outside one's self and see the perspective of live as it's lived from outside the present moment. That takes practice and someone to help get started.
Monday, July 23, 2018
Thursday, July 19, 2018
I believe these things...
- Maximized individual freedom.
- Corrupt government is worth fighting.
- Government has a role in modern life, but it has to be trusted, so every bit of corruption needs to be highlighted and eliminated to the maximum extent possible.
- A non-partisan free press is important to identify and publish abuse of power and needs to be supported.
- Collective security requires people to feel secure, which means an effective law enforcement,, which means law enforcement must be trusted which means law enforcement must be trustworthy which means they need to be policed and monitored closely from inside and outside their ranks for their own effectiveness and safety.
- Prisons and schools need to be public enterprises, No private prisons and no privatized "public" schools. No PROFITEERING from incarceration! If we're going to lock people up for our own good and for their own good, we need to all pay for it directly with taxes.
- The goal of incarceration should be rehabilitation, not punishment. As long as it takes to allow someone to become an effective contributor to society. That doesn't mean people responsible for certain crimes (sexual assault or murder) should ever be free to roam the streets on their own, but within their incarceration, they can work and contribute to atone for their harm against society from their safe lockdown.
- Equity of education until adulthood is for the common good. That means it will require more resources to educate poor communities, and so be it. We need to pay it. Once we're adults, then, it's on the individual, but they have to be educated about the tools to help define and strive for their own success in their own callings or desires.
Your View of America Is Legitimate
From the front porch of every life, there is a different perspective of our country. One thing about America is you get to have your view. If you believe you're perspective is legit, then you need to acknowledge that everyone else's view is as legitimate as yours. Let's engage in a little whatboutism.
What about people who have lived in many places and seen many sides of this great nation. Is their perspective more legitimate? No.
What about people who have friends in many different interest groups and ethnic groups and races and classes. Surely they would have a more important view of America, wouldn't they? No.
What about a person who has lived in a small community of like minded and like colored people their whole lives? Wouldn't their perspective be less important than mine? No.
What about gullible people who believe in the most exciting conspiracy theories they can find on the internet that let them feel like their special knowledge (for having read it on the internet and SEEN the contrails with their own eyes)? Wouldn't their paranoid and outlandish ideas make their opinion about their idea of America compromise their view of America? Yes, but no, they are fully entitled to their legitimate view of America.
How about someone with traumatic brain injury who has a much compromised ability to take in information about their surroundings? Yes, their own perspective is legitimate to them as yours is to you.
When you denigrate someone for believing in the most accurate picture of America as their minds can conjure, you are being unAmerican.
If you want to change someone's mind, you have got to do the work. Get the story out in a way someone without your superior vision can understand and will then want to change their mind to agree more with yours.
What about people who have lived in many places and seen many sides of this great nation. Is their perspective more legitimate? No.
What about people who have friends in many different interest groups and ethnic groups and races and classes. Surely they would have a more important view of America, wouldn't they? No.
What about a person who has lived in a small community of like minded and like colored people their whole lives? Wouldn't their perspective be less important than mine? No.
What about gullible people who believe in the most exciting conspiracy theories they can find on the internet that let them feel like their special knowledge (for having read it on the internet and SEEN the contrails with their own eyes)? Wouldn't their paranoid and outlandish ideas make their opinion about their idea of America compromise their view of America? Yes, but no, they are fully entitled to their legitimate view of America.
How about someone with traumatic brain injury who has a much compromised ability to take in information about their surroundings? Yes, their own perspective is legitimate to them as yours is to you.
When you denigrate someone for believing in the most accurate picture of America as their minds can conjure, you are being unAmerican.
If you want to change someone's mind, you have got to do the work. Get the story out in a way someone without your superior vision can understand and will then want to change their mind to agree more with yours.
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Dog Names
My former boss/man-ager was in touch lately and asked if I was interested in helping dub her next piece of puppy. Brainstorming... This old brain ain't nearly as rubbery as it was, so we'll see -- I'll try to limber up...[cracking my metaphorical (brain) knuckles <snap! snap! crack!>]
Ken and Anne Shapazian. The dog is a Cheyenne, Cayenne, he looks shy, your name's Anne, but you mentioned he looks a little reddish, there's the Cayenne like the pepper, Cay (rhymes with sky) for short. Cheyenne Wyoming always makes me think of that color. And my daughter's name is Shion (pronounced she-OWN, but my mom called her SHY-on before she heard it spoken -- a hundred times), Those are both gender neutral. The color of tanned leather (Tanner) but browner and redder, Tan-lea (which means "so read" in Spanish and which is phonetically "so red" like, she's brown, but such a reddish brown that she's so red for being brown). Curly Sienna, her actual color (as my eye sees it and brain knows it) is a sienna. Sienna, which I've been to, which I love and have amazing memories of (probably better memories than the actual experience, but that's one of the benefits of a healthy imagination -- your memories are MORE than reality, providing you're erroring on the side of better and not worse). Si-enna, See-enna or Sigh-enna. Sigh -- puppies make you sigh from time to time.
Half way between Newfoundland and Germany (the breeding grounds for the Labrador and Poodle, respectively), is the North Atlantic between Iceland and Greenland. NORTHATLANTIC. That's CITNALTAHTRON (sitnaltatron) spelled backward which would be an apt name for a robot in Sanskrit, but not so much a furry friend. The middle four letters are alta. Well, that took me nowhere. Alta evokes the snow-capped peaks of the Alps, which is nice (though not necessarily meaningful to the breed), and I imagine calling for your lost dog "Alta!" which could be Ul-tuh or Al-ta (rhumes with pal-ta). If you were a Chargers fan, the middle two letters are LT (for Ladanian Tomlinson) which would definitely have good vibes and connotations for you. And a fair name for a pooch.
You're French, Mercier, and La-Poo as in L'peu (means "the little" in English according to Google Translate - always). or L'pu which means "the able" or L'peau - "the skin"?
In homage to Guiness, the color is closer to a Porter or Dunkel. Porter is more dignified, but Dunkel is more Fun-kel. And if it's a male and he breeds, he could become Uncle Dunkel.
OK, so that's a little for this evening. If that gives you some thought, send them back to me and I'll chew on those for awhile. Which reminds me of when Guiness(?) ate your diningroom furniture. Or parts thereof.
Ken and Anne Shapazian. The dog is a Cheyenne, Cayenne, he looks shy, your name's Anne, but you mentioned he looks a little reddish, there's the Cayenne like the pepper, Cay (rhymes with sky) for short. Cheyenne Wyoming always makes me think of that color. And my daughter's name is Shion (pronounced she-OWN, but my mom called her SHY-on before she heard it spoken -- a hundred times), Those are both gender neutral. The color of tanned leather (Tanner) but browner and redder, Tan-lea (which means "so read" in Spanish and which is phonetically "so red" like, she's brown, but such a reddish brown that she's so red for being brown). Curly Sienna, her actual color (as my eye sees it and brain knows it) is a sienna. Sienna, which I've been to, which I love and have amazing memories of (probably better memories than the actual experience, but that's one of the benefits of a healthy imagination -- your memories are MORE than reality, providing you're erroring on the side of better and not worse). Si-enna, See-enna or Sigh-enna. Sigh -- puppies make you sigh from time to time.
Half way between Newfoundland and Germany (the breeding grounds for the Labrador and Poodle, respectively), is the North Atlantic between Iceland and Greenland. NORTHATLANTIC. That's CITNALTAHTRON (sitnaltatron) spelled backward which would be an apt name for a robot in Sanskrit, but not so much a furry friend. The middle four letters are alta. Well, that took me nowhere. Alta evokes the snow-capped peaks of the Alps, which is nice (though not necessarily meaningful to the breed), and I imagine calling for your lost dog "Alta!" which could be Ul-tuh or Al-ta (rhumes with pal-ta). If you were a Chargers fan, the middle two letters are LT (for Ladanian Tomlinson) which would definitely have good vibes and connotations for you. And a fair name for a pooch.
You're French, Mercier, and La-Poo as in L'peu (means "the little" in English according to Google Translate - always). or L'pu which means "the able" or L'peau - "the skin"?
In homage to Guiness, the color is closer to a Porter or Dunkel. Porter is more dignified, but Dunkel is more Fun-kel. And if it's a male and he breeds, he could become Uncle Dunkel.
OK, so that's a little for this evening. If that gives you some thought, send them back to me and I'll chew on those for awhile. Which reminds me of when Guiness(?) ate your diningroom furniture. Or parts thereof.
Monday, January 8, 2018
For The Good Of The Republic
Every person in prison, every person marginalized, trivialized, left behind, suboptimized, disenfranchised, underutilized, disengaged, distracted from, and otherwise lessened weakens our great nation.
There's are some societies around the world with a lot less diversity (racial, religious, ethnicity) and a lot more cultural cohesion (Japan and Korea, Scandinavia), and they reap some of the advantages. They have their own problems, to be sure, but their countries work more like "well-run machines" than does ours.
America, on the other hand, is way more diverse, and we are anything but culturally coherent these days. But there are certain things about America which have powered our excellence, and diversity, our independence, our entrepreneurial spirit and fearlessness (in business, et al.) which have worked to our distinct and spectacular advantages for a century and more. Every silver lining has a dark side, and the dark sides of those positive attributes have been an indisputable drag on what could have been an even more productive and satisfying epoch.
You want to supercharge the full economy? You want to energize the masses? You want to help America reach its potential? Then you have to fight for a system that makes every person believe they are in this together, that every person is inherently worthwhile and will reap a fair benefit for their hard work and willingness to step up and take a risk. That means fighting against every form of discrimination, from the blatant racism to more subtle institutional (both intentional and unintentional) racism, sexism and harassment, religions and all-gender discrimination, agism, etc. Whose a better part of your work team: Someone being belittled or criticized for their sexual orientation, or that same person surrounded by people accept and support who they are? Who's going to try harder to make it to work when things get tough: someone who is payed a living wage with medical benefits, or someone who is being shortchanged because they're women?
I struggle with many union policies and mindsets, but when I think of how the rich and powerful take advantage of the workforce, and when you can just look at the way wages have fallen compared to management and C-suite compensation, I see how critical they are to the strength of our economy. Left to their own devices, the economical forces will continue to widen inequality weakening middle class, and creating a very desperate lower class, which is a cancer to the health of a nation. Not cool at all.
Is it obvious? The health of our democracy is fully dependent on leaders at all levels working constantly to fight anything that defines others as less, that perpetuates a widening wealth inequality, or makes puts up barriers to someone striving to do their best. No doubt, hard work must be rewarded and sloth should be punished, but an unfiltered look are reality makes it clear that we are far from optimum. This will take major work on many fronts from education to social policy to market incentives to financial regulation reform, but if everyone picks part of the problem near and dear to themselves to help improve, it is not (yet) beyond us.
There's are some societies around the world with a lot less diversity (racial, religious, ethnicity) and a lot more cultural cohesion (Japan and Korea, Scandinavia), and they reap some of the advantages. They have their own problems, to be sure, but their countries work more like "well-run machines" than does ours.
America, on the other hand, is way more diverse, and we are anything but culturally coherent these days. But there are certain things about America which have powered our excellence, and diversity, our independence, our entrepreneurial spirit and fearlessness (in business, et al.) which have worked to our distinct and spectacular advantages for a century and more. Every silver lining has a dark side, and the dark sides of those positive attributes have been an indisputable drag on what could have been an even more productive and satisfying epoch.
You want to supercharge the full economy? You want to energize the masses? You want to help America reach its potential? Then you have to fight for a system that makes every person believe they are in this together, that every person is inherently worthwhile and will reap a fair benefit for their hard work and willingness to step up and take a risk. That means fighting against every form of discrimination, from the blatant racism to more subtle institutional (both intentional and unintentional) racism, sexism and harassment, religions and all-gender discrimination, agism, etc. Whose a better part of your work team: Someone being belittled or criticized for their sexual orientation, or that same person surrounded by people accept and support who they are? Who's going to try harder to make it to work when things get tough: someone who is payed a living wage with medical benefits, or someone who is being shortchanged because they're women?
I struggle with many union policies and mindsets, but when I think of how the rich and powerful take advantage of the workforce, and when you can just look at the way wages have fallen compared to management and C-suite compensation, I see how critical they are to the strength of our economy. Left to their own devices, the economical forces will continue to widen inequality weakening middle class, and creating a very desperate lower class, which is a cancer to the health of a nation. Not cool at all.
Is it obvious? The health of our democracy is fully dependent on leaders at all levels working constantly to fight anything that defines others as less, that perpetuates a widening wealth inequality, or makes puts up barriers to someone striving to do their best. No doubt, hard work must be rewarded and sloth should be punished, but an unfiltered look are reality makes it clear that we are far from optimum. This will take major work on many fronts from education to social policy to market incentives to financial regulation reform, but if everyone picks part of the problem near and dear to themselves to help improve, it is not (yet) beyond us.
Saturday, October 21, 2017
Trump Deserves a Tough Press
He's right that the press is harder on him than any other president. Rightfully so. Because he's the worst man to be a president, and the press is who we rely on to tell the story. The truth of his behavior is why the press is harder on him. He deserves it all.
But press, shut the fuck up about the trivial. Just because it would be a major story of any other living politician, candidate or famous person did it doesn't mean you have to elevate the petty hypocrisy to a major story. THERE ARE PLENTY OF REAL FAILURES every week in this man's dossier to address before sinking to perverse trivia.
We don't need new evidence each day about the following realities about Trump:
1. He's a constant liar. 2. He embellishes everything about himself. 3. He does so by criticizing others whenever they disagree or point out his painful or embarrassing truths. 4. He's white and as an extension of his inferiority complex, he needs for that to be supreme as well. 5. He's incapable of complex thought. 6. He doesn't care about anything that doesn't specifically make him look good or bad, and (see #1) he will lie to make himself look good to himself (no one else really believes him -- his supporters know in their souls he's full of shit).
Be hard on President trump because he's a terrible president, and be hard on his proposed policies that are making America the worst it's been in my lifetime. Race relationships have been worse, and treatment of African Americans has been worse (watch The Vietnam War on PBS if you think otherwise), but this is our biggest backslide ever. The economy has been worse. The state of war has been worse (with the exception of our current North Korean situation, for which Trump is partially to blame, but not entirely -- the Korean problem has escalated with the advancement of their march toward nuclear capabilities which would have happened no matter who is in the White House.)
But press, shut the fuck up about the trivial. Just because it would be a major story of any other living politician, candidate or famous person did it doesn't mean you have to elevate the petty hypocrisy to a major story. THERE ARE PLENTY OF REAL FAILURES every week in this man's dossier to address before sinking to perverse trivia.
We don't need new evidence each day about the following realities about Trump:
1. He's a constant liar. 2. He embellishes everything about himself. 3. He does so by criticizing others whenever they disagree or point out his painful or embarrassing truths. 4. He's white and as an extension of his inferiority complex, he needs for that to be supreme as well. 5. He's incapable of complex thought. 6. He doesn't care about anything that doesn't specifically make him look good or bad, and (see #1) he will lie to make himself look good to himself (no one else really believes him -- his supporters know in their souls he's full of shit).
Be hard on President trump because he's a terrible president, and be hard on his proposed policies that are making America the worst it's been in my lifetime. Race relationships have been worse, and treatment of African Americans has been worse (watch The Vietnam War on PBS if you think otherwise), but this is our biggest backslide ever. The economy has been worse. The state of war has been worse (with the exception of our current North Korean situation, for which Trump is partially to blame, but not entirely -- the Korean problem has escalated with the advancement of their march toward nuclear capabilities which would have happened no matter who is in the White House.)
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
The Benefits of Self Reflection - Any Mirror Will Do
A friend's Facebook post: [paraphrase] "This scriptural study of Job was a good reminder ..."
Whatever the strawman around which you want to wrap a personal reflection, it's your wrapping around it in which the benefit lies, not the strawman. Whether you take a moment of intentional analysis of one of the universal conflicts of the human condition using the Bible, Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, an episode of Sex In The City, or a scholarly article by a clinical psychologist, your throw your life experience and natural attitude up against some idea or principle and compare and contrast, judge, butt and rebut, accept and deny and so forth. It's particularly useful when there's another thoughtful member in the room making it a threesome (you, them, and the literature) or three or more (with diminishing returns).
An open dialogue with the expectation that you will come away from the encounter with a better understanding, able to understand and incorporate a heftier hunk of some small part of the universal whole.
I've come to believe that it's sometimes useful to deconstruct the universal principles of human existence to appreciate in explicit detail the nuance of any given circumstance, and later reconnect it to the singular octopus, to remember that for certain, it really always abuts the oneness of all.
About the strawmen: for any individual, different strawmen may be more accessible (a literal minded person may struggle with something spiritual or metaphorical, a Christian may find their history with scripture richer), but it's also a great exercise in expanding our perspective by branching out to less natural strawmen. For a scientist to spend more time with a piece of literature to explore selflessness and altruism, or an acolyte to dissect the implications of kin selection in evolutionary psychology to explore how "goodness" can be baked into the human psyche through the invisible hand of our genetic drive to replicate itself. Either way, it's in the ping-pong of ideas that we grow.
Whatever the strawman around which you want to wrap a personal reflection, it's your wrapping around it in which the benefit lies, not the strawman. Whether you take a moment of intentional analysis of one of the universal conflicts of the human condition using the Bible, Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, an episode of Sex In The City, or a scholarly article by a clinical psychologist, your throw your life experience and natural attitude up against some idea or principle and compare and contrast, judge, butt and rebut, accept and deny and so forth. It's particularly useful when there's another thoughtful member in the room making it a threesome (you, them, and the literature) or three or more (with diminishing returns).
An open dialogue with the expectation that you will come away from the encounter with a better understanding, able to understand and incorporate a heftier hunk of some small part of the universal whole.
I've come to believe that it's sometimes useful to deconstruct the universal principles of human existence to appreciate in explicit detail the nuance of any given circumstance, and later reconnect it to the singular octopus, to remember that for certain, it really always abuts the oneness of all.
About the strawmen: for any individual, different strawmen may be more accessible (a literal minded person may struggle with something spiritual or metaphorical, a Christian may find their history with scripture richer), but it's also a great exercise in expanding our perspective by branching out to less natural strawmen. For a scientist to spend more time with a piece of literature to explore selflessness and altruism, or an acolyte to dissect the implications of kin selection in evolutionary psychology to explore how "goodness" can be baked into the human psyche through the invisible hand of our genetic drive to replicate itself. Either way, it's in the ping-pong of ideas that we grow.
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